Valentines andfeces?
by SasukeXHinata
Summary: Its Valentines day tomorrow! THe boys are planning something special for the girls! Except Naruto!


Valentines day of feces?  
Description:  
Naruto wants revenge on the kids for teasing him in his tardy punishment, how does he do this, on VALENTINES DAY?!?? 

Includes:  
anti-naruto kibaino sasuhina nejiten sakulee GaaTayu shikatema Zetsu Bashing (but not anti-zetsu)

CLACK! Lee's door to his room closed. "what did you want to tell us lee?" Neji asked."Yea, what ya green weirdo?"Sasuke asked "you know how its valentines day in 2 days, and we all have girlfriends and crushes right?" "right" Neji,sasuke,shikamaru,Gaara, and kiba replied. "Weeellll, why dont we all invite them to the park for something special? at midnight the day after tomorrow tomorrow, for something special" Lee said "...I dont think tenten is that kind of type" Neji touched his chin. "GET OUTTA THE GUTTERS NEJI! I MEANT GIVE THEM A GIFT AND HUG THEM AND STUFF NOT DO "IT" WITH THEM!" Lee yelled at neji "..." neji blushed, his face turned bright red..."ok" they all said. "so its done?" Lee asked "yup!" they all said, but neji said it in a whisper. then they all left, but shikamaru left feces on the floor from pakkun... "DAMN SHIKAMARU AND HIS PAKKUN FECES!!!!"Lee yelped.

DIIIIING DOOOOONG school bell rings. thump thump thump genin run. "aww dang it, forgot my taijutsu essay!" Kiba proclaimed. "Its ok, Kurenai sensei will be nice enough to let you turn it in tomorrow." Ino replied. "no,,,tomorrow is the valentines day party!" he repiled back. "if I dont get it I will not get to participate!". "..."ino then said "Well get your butt back to your house!!!" Ino yelled. "I knoooooow!!!!" kiba has already started running back. "Hmm..."Ino thought "He's so cute" she made one of those "Proud to have a cute crush" looks.

tap tap tap Naruto was...well... always late, "GRRAAHH!!" he hollered. SLAM Naruto slammed the door open. "Hey Teach! " Naruto was trying to flatter the teacher into not giving him a tardy punishment, after all, ninja are fast and quick! "..FOO, no flattering effects a teacher! Especialy a jonin elite, dumbass" Kakashi sent naruto to Tsunade's office. "stupid,fuckin, bitch-ass, buttheads. " naruto mumbled, "one day ill get them!!" he thought. Naruto went into Tsunades office.. click tsunade put her painbrush down. "What is it NOW? NARUTO??" Tsunade wasnt surprised. "h-h-hey tsunade-sensei-maam-chan-sama!!!" Naruto staggered. "tsk tsk..." Tsunade said...at free time(which is roming around the school ,talking to friends, and going around town for 2 hrs) Naruto was forced to wear a Ballerina dress and he put his hair in pigtails, and he held a sign saying "Kiss me" except the "K" was scratched off, and it was replaced with "P".He had to walk down the hall exactly when free time started. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Everyone laughed. "WHAT A CRACKHEEEAD!!" Sakura Screamed "YOU DONT HAVE A PENIS!!!" Sai hollerd, "...SURE ILL "PISS" YOU! HAHAHAA!!' kiba yelled, Konohamaru peed on naruto. "..."naruto didnt say anything his eyes got teary, and his whole face turned red hot...

"SHUT UP YOU COCKBAGS! I WAS JUST TARDY AND YOU HOMIES TEASE ME??!!??" naruto yelled. None said anything for a minute then Hinata broke the silence "WHAT A BANDWAGON JUMPER! COME ON! "HOMIES"???" , "BWAHAHAHAHHAAAHH!!!" everyone laughed and teased the pisser, eh, I mean naruto until his punishment was over. "what a greeat warm up for valentines day." sasuke told hinata, hinata agreed. Hinata and sasuke both liked each other but they didnt know the other liked the other, so they didnt say anything lovey-dovey. -----

"umm... hinata, would you meet me at the park a-a-at m-midnightt.?" Sasuke staggered. "s-sure" hinata replied, then they departed(as in they went with their other friends). " Ahh yes! the weekly ninja youths!" Lee was reading his fave magazine. SUddenly Sakura leaned on his shoulder "oh Leee-kun!!!3" sakura said flattery. "yea sakura-chan?" Lee relpied with a blush.  
"hiiiii33!!" sakura was just some lovey dovey girl, lol. "tehe" lee blushed. "oh sakura-chan, can you meet me at the park at midnight?" Lee asked "sure" sakura replied. thump! kiba dropped from the ceiling trying to make an appealing entrance to ino-chan. he quickly got up "HEY INOCHAN!!3" kiba said "want to go to the park today at midnight, you know for a valentines day thing?" "Ok Kiba-sama" Ino said. fluuf fluff temari was cruisin on her fan, "Hey" shikamaru said "te-" "mari".. shikamaru was jumping up and down to catch up with her all the way near the heavens. "what ya cute tiny pipsqueak?" she scowled "u-" "m" "do" "you" "want" "to" Shikamaru staggered.  
Temari was confused. "go" "to the par-" shikamaru was panting "what a fuckin drag --" he thought. "TO THE PARK? SURE PIPSQUEAK." Temari hollered from up there. "AAATTTT MMIIIDDDNIGGGHTTT!!!!" shikamaru yelled back. Temari didnt say anything back, but she heard him. "wee!" tenten was sliding down "the cuncushion" a a very, very long slide (380 ft high) that you go down headfirst into water. neji quickly jumped and got in front of her. "hey baby--I-i-i mean hey tenten!" Neji staggered "hey neji-san!" tenten replied "tenten would you want to go to the park at midnight??" Neji staggered.  
"ok..why?" tenten asked "why do you want to know?" Neji asked "I should or else I shouldnt come!" tenten said.  
Luckily by the time she said "come" there was just 1ft 1eft until they hit the water, and when they did, neji swam away. "Pffett!!uweh! BLEH!" Tenten was poundnig chlorine out of her lungs.  
Tayuya was listening to heavy metal j-rock, and it was on high, she was in her favorite store--Hot Topic, when Gaara came.  
"Tayuya-chan, meet me at the park at midnight, you wont regret it!" Gaara explained "Alright Gaara-san." Tayuya replied...

that afternoon after school,the boys bought something special for the girls at, well, the store "something special". Sasuke got Hinata a purse with a cinnabon on it. Neji got tenten a kunai knife figurine with a keroppi keychain on it. Shikamaru got temari a giant traditional japanese fan with a blue swirl in the middle. Kiba got Ino a small chibi pig with a pouch on its tummy to hold things.Gaara got Tayuya a platinum flute.And Lee, got sakura a figurine of them doing the waltz.  
They chatted with they're girly sides, "OMG! isnt this kunai knife sooo adorable???" Neji yelped "NOO WAY! thats way ka-waii! butttt... THIS purse is waaaaay cuter!" sasuke proclaimed "nyah.nyah. BUT, come one, you HAVE to say this fan is bea-u-tiful!!' shikamaru said.  
"tsk tsk tsk! this is adorable!" rock lee shoved his gift in SHika's face.  
"MOO. your all soo wrong! isnt this pig just soo..soo..CII-UUUTE???" Kiba yelled wagging his feet around.  
"chea-no...This flute is beatiful..."Gaara said.

That evening..."those bitches aint gonna get away with this!" naruto mumbled, he quickly put feces from zetsu somewhere on their gifts, somewhere the recipents cant see it. " cheheheehehehe!!!!!!" naruto laughed! "WHOS THERE?" neji yelled. "ohh...its you baby, Ive been waiting for you!3. " Naruto cringed, BUT, actually, neji was dreaming, he decided to take a nap so he wouldnt have crows feet when he kissed tenten. For the rest of narutos life, he saw Neji gay, even if he saw him and tenten kiss for the marriage, Anyways, back to present.

when everyone showed up, they gave there smelly gifts.  
-CASE 1- Shikamaru's side of the park, the teeter-totter.  
"EWW GROSS!" Temari covered her nose."what smells like..urgh.. FECES from a from a wild plant with a Mr. Twig"  
"W-WAAAUGH???!?" Shikamaru was utterly bewildered. He look around for something wrong with his gift. "GOLLEEE!!" he yelped.  
he saw one circular turd on the handle, he slid on a glove and look around it. as he guessed, he knew someone dumb and stupid did this, a stick note was on the poop it said "Hahahaaa!!!! -oturanonurahwillREVENGE" "grrrr...Naruto...!!!!!!!!!" Shikamaru hollered.  
"..Oh, I see, Naruto's dumb enough to put his name on the poop --" Temari understood.  
"Ill just sprayy extra freshh spring fragrance on it!;thanks shikamaru!" Temari squeaked Shikamaru blushed and started to pucker up, under the moon, temari and shikamaru kissed...

-CASE 2- Sasuke's side of the park, the swings "Gee...urrmm..thanks sasuke -szan..."Hinata didnt want to be rude, you know, she wasnt as bad-ass like temari.  
"Umm is something wrong? your eye is twitching..."Sasuke asked "its just that, this cute gift if filled with...stools..." hinata replied "WHAT!?" sasuke panted sasuke just grabbed the friggin piece a' shit out and knew it was from naruto from the shape of it,it was shaped like this "oturan" lol.  
"geez..its naruto again..."sasuke and hinata said.  
sasuke got his favorite cloth and wiped her purse clean. Then he gave it back to her.  
"Th-thank you sasuke-kun! 3" Hinata replied.  
They hugged, and they're faces bumped... HInata snatched Sasuke's Headband of his forehead "You look better without your headband" HInata said, Sasuke smiled...

-CASE 3- Kiba's side of the park, the tunnels "Gee Kiba! you gave me poop smelling pig?!??" Ino covered her nose "HUH?!?" Kiba was bewildered as any of the others "aww maan!" kiba wined "someone put feces in its pou--...it was naruto --,dumbass putting a ramen picture in the pouch with it!" Kiba laughed "WAA-HEY!!?"Ino started to crack some giggles.  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHA!!" Ino burst into guffaws and laughter. "WHAT AN IDIOT!!" Ino and Kiba laughed for a loong time, the other lovers could hear them!  
Ino wiped a tear from her eye.  
"Ok thanks kIba-kun! That was the best gift ever!" Ino thanked kiba Kiba walked Ino home, and they kissed under a moonlit tree...

-CASE 4- Lee's side, the monkey bars.  
"Lee-kun! Why is athis gift smell life feces frmo a rotten un-sexy plant???" Sakura wined.  
"UHH!!?" Lee was determined to find out who did that.  
"Believe me sakura-chan! i didnt give such an un-satisfying smell to your tiny delicate nose!" Lee explained "Ok Lee0kun!" She replied "Grraahh!! whoever did that wil PAY!" Lee thought. "GASP!" Sakura gasped.  
On the figurine was a card saying "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lee smells like poo, not you. -from your secret admirer" "I know who this idiot is!!!" Sakura said to Lee "ITS..."

-Interuption-  
'NARUTO"  
"BWAHAHAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!" Ino and Kiba laughed again even after they're kiss.  
"A RAMEN PICTURE! HAAA!!!"

-end interuption-  
"it sure is!" I know hes dumb enough to actually write t out, instead of cutting and pasteing magazine letters!" Lee said with his eyes on fire.  
"its ok Lee-san.." Sakura comforted Lee.  
They kissed too...

-CASE 5- Gaara's side of the park, the sandbox "Gross Gaara-san! this smells like a killer weed's manure!!" Tayuya exclaimed "hmm..?" Gaara was confused.  
"I thought you came here to give me a valentines day gift! URRGHH!" Tayuya yelped "Tayuya-chan, I bought you a platinum flute, it cost me 6million, if you dont want it, my heart wil break..." Gaara said "..."Tayuya Looked sad. Gaaara looked at the flute with his third eye...he noticed a smelly chunk of ramen was on its c button... "Bitch..."Gaara mumbled.  
"huh?" Tayuya was completely bewildered.  
"Look at this piece of shit" Gaara shoved the poop covered ramen in tayuya's face.  
"Naruto...!" Gaara and Tayuya said. Then they looked at each other, and they bumped faces together...

-CASE 6- Nejis side The Slide.  
"Neji-kunnnn!" Tenten wined "This cute little kunai smells like TURD!" "WAA-HUH???" Neji turned bright red,  
"You hate me dont you!?" Tenten pointed at poor 'ol neji.  
"You called me here to brake up with me!" "No I didnt tenten-chan! please..."Neji staggered and he kneeled and sobbed on tentens knees.  
Tenten was about to throw the priceless figurine in the garbage when...a sticky not slipped out of it.. you guessed it,it said"FOOLS!-oturan"  
"NEJI-KUN! YOU DO STILL LOVE ME!!" Tenten proclaimed "huh?" Neji sobbed Tenten shoved the note in his face.  
"..."Neji sobbed and mourned for 1 more minute until all those tears turned into a heaping laughter! Same with tenten!  
"HAHAHAHAAHAAAAHAAAHHHAHAAAHAHA! THE PISSER! HAHAAHAH! HA-HAAA!" they laughed Soon they got very sleepy and tired from laughing soo hard, they started to tip over, and they eventually bumped each others faces.

Epilogue for this chapter:::: Its midnight, the first hour of valentines day begins, the heart-shaped moon saw all kisses, all lovers have been struck with cupids kunai, except..for...NARUTO.

"Naruto's definately done it now! He can annoy and bother us, but he cant do it to our dates!!!" Kiba scolded, the boys were at Kiba's house this time, yet, Lee brings everything like the food and shit.  
"Something has to be done, he gets in our way, he makes the girls like him for being idiotically funny,..." Neji explained "And he tries to please Sakura-chan by playing slide baby with her!!!!!" Lee proclaimed with his firey eyes.  
"Lets..."Sasuke said. Every single one of the boys nodded, they definately agreed to one simple, yet pessimistic solution...Yet do you know what it is??? Rock Lee gave all of them some refreshments, and refreshmints. They all laughed and had a jolly time, and by the end of the party, they all knew what to do...

"UURGH!" Sakura wined. The girls too, had a slumber party at Hinata's house, and they didnt sleep.  
"That dumbass Naruto will neeeeever please me again!!!" Hinata looked mad,but she wasnt looking at her friends, but she still proclaimed that. The girls winnied and planned something against naruto just like the boys did.  
"He WILL pay for this! And we will succeed!" Temari yelled "That Naruto will be ramen!!" Tayuya screamed "His ass WILL catch on fire!" Tenten said.  
"He'll eat his last bowl of ramen..!" Ino yelped "Its the END for him! 'ya got that? HELL YEA!" Sakura hollered as she punched in the air.  
"We WILL KILL him!" Hinata bravely but evily said.  
"wooow..."Hanabi thought, she was snooping at the party... Hanabi ran to the phone, she called kiba's house.  
"Hey! its Hyuga Hanabi!" Hanabi said on the phone "Oh hi Hanabi! its Kiba's sis, you want to talk to him?" Kiba's sister said "Yes please!" Hanabi said. Kiba's sis gave it to kiba "WHo?" Kiba asked "Hyuga Hanabi! sister of Hinata, cousin of Neji!" Hanabi said "ok, what?"Kiba asked "I just want you to know the girls are planning to..."Hanabi said, but right when she told the plan Hinata plugged her phone off.  
"HANABI! I told you to stay with your friends!"Hinata yelled "fine...--"Hanabi went back to her room and her slumber party with the "little" kids.  
"ehehe... sorry guys..."Hinata apoligized "No need to say sorry!" Ino replied The girls had a great time, you see, Sakura video taped all of Narutos dumbass acts, even the one from yesterday. And Tayuya and Ino snooped on Naruto and recorded some of his thoughts.  
"Urrghh...I think Choji is kinda hot..hehehe..." The tape recorder sounded out "Ts...ts.tsssss.!!!" They all tried to hold back they're laughter.  
"BWAUAHAAAHA!!!" The burst into laughter! "Woo! Tayuya you rock!" Tenten complimented tayuya "Thanks! Its easy, but I couldnt have done it with Ino's help! Her mind transfer jutsu can also just control half a mind! So she can hear his thoughts! and then I recorded with some of my recording flutes!" Tayuya replied "That was really funny."Hinata said "Hohoho! theres more!!" Sakura told her. Sakura put in a tape of naruto she recorded a week ago.  
naruto watching TV munch munch hes munching on strawberry shortcakes.  
"No! Gabriella! Its a trap! he really doesnt love you!" Naruto yelped. Naruto starts crying. "Aww! this series is too dramatic! I-i cant watch it anymore!" He shut the tv off.Naruto walks to his room, its filled with pictures of Choji,Sasuke,Sakura, and...ROCK LEE!  
"Ahh...All these people are so sexy!" Naruto said The tape fuzzed, its done.  
"HAHAHAHAHAAA BWAHAHAUGHAA!!!" They laughed so hard, "hoo..My tummy hurts!" Temari said. Hinata wiped a tear of laughing too much from her eye. "Urgh...I forgot to change my underwear.." Tayuyas Tape record of Naruto said.They all had a Jolly time of making fun of naruto, they also showed off pictures of them with their dates!


End file.
